Hurdles

This past week I’ve been introduced to a new hurdle.

I had my cast removed last Tuesday and am now equipped with an aircast and a series of exercises to do. I’m remotely working 20 hours a week at my current job so there’s some semblance of structure to my life, at least a gradual return.

I was really pleased with hearing good feedback from the surgeon on how my bones are mending, there’s limited ligament damage which is a plus. Now I have a number of physio exercises to do with my broken foot.

It’s difficult to look at my foot and compare it to my healthy one. To compare how much a healthy-working foot can flex and bend in comparison to my current swollen one. I felt a little sad, looking at it, trying to envision it slowly getting better every day. Is it as flexible as it should be? Am I doing enough?

The nice part about roller-derby, is that if you face this as a sport, you have been through this routine of improvement before. You’ve faced your current limitations but have simultaneously planned for success, whether that success is increased speed, strength, teamwork, or mental preparedness, whatever. The longer you play, the more fun it is to compare photos or footage of yourself from the present against the past. And wonder how all of those changes slowly added up so that you are noticeably preforming better on the track.

So this is a mental exercise. To see something a little malformed, to see the lack. That is easy to see and admit to because it’s right there in front of you. The hard part is to see the potential. To see what you’re capable of becoming.

My foot doesn’t look so pretty, guys. it’s puffy, my toes are chubby and stick together, my ankle looks like it has inflated by several sizes. I’m going to have wicked awesome scars on either side, which I’m fine with. I have weird stretch marks on my skin from the dislocation. I have bruises due to the surgery and injury. If my feet were some superhero duo, my left foot would be the main hero, ready to spring into action. my right foot is huffing and puffing with a beer belly slowing it down.

But there’s potential. Potential in the fresh meat skater who puts on skates for the first time. The vet who steps up their training program in efforts to make it onto the travel team roster. The blocker who believes they can one day jam for their team.

Alright, foot, let’s get movin’.

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NOTE: I wrote this post last Thursday. Today, my foot is looking way better (thanks, compression socks!) and every day it gets a little bit more flexible. Huzzah!